Resolved Question

Is my daughter ok? I need some serious advice.?

Im worried my daughter is becoming ill. She lays in bed all day not wanting to eat or see anyone. It started when she got her exam results and didn't do as well as she had hoped. she says she feels like there is no point trying in life anymore as it gets you know where. She is getting thin and weak. I have asked my doctor but all he says is that its a phase. I know its not her 'time of the month' and do phases go on for 3+ weeks?

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Seriously, If your doctor gave you an answer like this after THREE weeks. YOU need a NEW Doctor. Once her health is affected as it is with her losing weight she has some issues. But I would start by sitting down with her and explaining that not getting the grades she expected good or not, IS NOT the end of the world. That she can use this as reasoning to do better next year. Do NOT speak any negatives to her NOT at this point in time. She does need someone to speak with. As in a professional. But this is a start. Good luck and I do wish her as well as you the best in this matter.

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Other Answers (27)

• What else have I to add?
  "as it gets you know where"she says
  Bring home all her friends and each tell them what all other talents she has and how she can do so many things in life, Bring in a stream of people who after having faced such a situation in life have overcome them and are now well settled and each tell her what ever they want to encourage her.
  If it doesn't leave any impression and it has not helped her into taking regular meals and jumping back into life, you have to take her to a doctor who can set it right.
  But you can do it ,taking her
  to a doctor
  who can set it right,
  right now, without wasting time..
  Act immediately.

  Source(s):

• She didn't do as well as she hoped, or didn't do as well as YOU hoped?
  
  People's success is not just measured by exams, they are measured against the expectations of those around them.
  
  Did she not do as well as you expected or her friends did? Then she needs support to say it doesn't matter (because compared to her health, her exams are irrelevant). Exams can be resit, soon or in the future. Pick out the ones she did do well at and praise her for these.
  
  Support, support, support, this is what she needs to get over it. Be positive, love her unconditionally and help her with her options.
  
  Her friends might be celebrating their success; maybe she needs some kind of celebration/treat too? Make sure you do everything you can to make her feel better.
• Firstly I would talk to her. Ask her why she is doing what she is doing. You need to reinforce in her that getting a bad exam result doesnt matter. The result is just how she went on one day, and if need be, there are always ways to get around needing a particular score.
  If after talking to her, she doesnt seem to be getting any better, then i would suggest that you seek the help of a councellor/psycologist/psychiatrist who can help her work through her issues. I would also say this definetly seems to not be a phase if she is letting it affect her health.

  Source(s):

• It sounds like she is depressed ( I get like that a lot). I know how she feels sometimes when you try so hard for something and it doesn't work out you can't really see where your life is going or what you can do next.
  Its kind of difficult, when my parents try to help me out by 'suggesting' things it makes me feel worse because its like they are pressurising me into doing something or like they don't trust me to do something on your own. What usually helps me snap out of it is people just going on as there normal happy selves like sometimes my mam as a surprise will go to the bakery and get me a random cake or ginger bread man and bring it up to my room and not really fuss over me but go - 'o I got you this' then just leaves me too it. Eventually I return to half normal and start to put my life back in order- and the more I know where I am going the more confident and happier I get.
  I hope that she gets better soon.
• You don't say how old your daughter is but I am guessing she is a teenager. Mood swings are common at this stage of life and it may help for her to have someone she can talk to. If she doesn't feel able to talk to you (often the case with mums and daughters) then see if she will confide in another family member or a friend.
  
  However, if as you say, she is lethargic and getting thin and weak, she does need professional help. Go back to your doctor and insist on a thorough examination and a referral to a counsellor or psychologist.
  
  Good luck.
• Which exams have gone badly do you mind adding? There is ALWAYS a second chance in education, and always a different path to take if one has let you down.
  
  She needs to realise this (be told by someone she trusts other than you perhaps, harsh but it's probably the only way she will believe it).
  
  If she was planning to go to college/university and can't this year, then she can plan to go next year, take the resits early and spend a few months doing some soul searching. Time away from education can be brilliant for knowing/finding what you really want to do.
  
  Find a way to get through to her that life doesn't start and stop with education, and you can tell her this is coming from a Teacher, such as I am.
• It sounds like your daughter is very depressed. She might not want to open up to you and tell you what's wrong so professional help may be needed in the case. Try to be encouraging about her future, tell her it's not the end of the world she didn't get the exam results she was hoping for as there's plenty of other avenues for her to go down. Good luck, I hope your daughter starts feeling better soon.
• Take her on a holiday she seems like she works hard and doesn't seem to get anywhere.
  little holiday would help her relax and think of a fresh start.
  but ask if there is bulling at school or something else upsetting her?
  But just tell her it was one little test and there are bigger and more rewarding goals out there.
  Every one fails something in their life at a Point just learn from your mistake like they all say.
  i hope she gets better.
• Oh hun, you might want to drag her to the doctor ( a different one, since that one didn't seem to care ), she might have acute depression problems!!! You should really take her to see someone and try to figure out what's up. No one should act like that for that long without there being some kind of mental issue (not saying she's crazy ).
  
  good luck
• Sound like she's depressed, but it could be something more. You should take her to the doctor again. Try another doctor if yours wont listen. Try writing down all her symptoms before you go so you don't forget anything. If this doesn't help, get her out exercising and try st johns wort (from a healh food shop or chemist).
• what exam results? try tell her that God is not look at them . he still love her and it will get better it is some you should pray about. if she is not eating try going to a place were she like to eat. but ask her were she would like to go.get two of her friends to go with.
• She really should see someone.
  
  I'm 18 and was once in the same state.
  Luckily, after months of horrid states, I pulled myself up and kicked myself in the butt, self-improved while also going to a counsellor every 2 weeks to help stay back on track.

  Source(s):

• She obviously takes things really seriously and feels like she's a failure, you should try taking her to see somebody who can explain to her that her life is not over because of some test results, if she can understand that, she'll get better.
• Depression most certainly but it may be transient and will pass. Think seriously and try other things before you resort to anti depressants..otherwise she could be stuck on them for life. Talking therapy may help her more given her age and lack of trauma (assuming she has not had any real trauma in her life?).

  Source(s):

• probably u shd ask any one of her friends to talk to her....and make her feel better...she is depressed...i know it...because i act the same way many times...even not eating my food...friends do really help..they help her to forget about what she is thinking..all the time...
• sound like a touch of depression,she has the classic signs,staying in bed,not eating/wanting to see any1 and she thinks theres no point carrying on,take her to another doctor for a second opinion
• It will just take some time to get used the fact she didn't do as well as hoped. Everyone goes through periods of disappointment from time to time & it is a blow to the system. She'll be fine soon enough.
• Your daughter sounds depressed. Its not usual for phases to be this extreme and to last 3 weeks.
  
  Take her to the doctor - try a different one than the one you spoke to.
• your daughter is depressed you need to get her some therapy right away this could lead to other disorders and dont listen to that doctor get her some help
• she sounds depressed to me i know somebody who was very deperssed and he stopped eating just let her know that life isint all about getting great results just be there for her cause she is obviously upset about her results
• She sounds depressed, take her to the doctor to get a referral or diagnosis.
• She sounds depressed to me and I think some counselling for a short while may help. Your doctor should be able to give you some info....
• She is most seriously depressed. She needs professional counseling!
• shes probley got severe depression tell the doctor that your really worried and wha you wrote above
• why are you on yahoo,when you should be taking her to a doctor.
• well i have been through taking exams recently and they are so stressful and if she has been putting pressure on herself to do well and now she hasn't done as well as she wanted she feels like it was a waste of time. she may have done really well but sometimes in your own eyes you haven't so she is feeling down about it. i think she needs to speak to the doctor about her not eating though because if she is loosing weight its not good and even though the doctor says its a phase its quite a big one and she is making herself ill so it can't be ignored. exams are stressful times and she is just feeling very down because she is thinking she has done all that work for nothing in her mind she needs to. i remember when i did my first exam a few months back i was so nervous but i felt ill because i was putting pressure on myself to well when i didn't need to so your daughter needs to know that its not that bad and she has still done really well because she has got through she needs to learn not to be so tough on herself and help her to slowly build up her confidence and just be there for her it always helps to have your mum around.
• Oh wow this is bad. This situation really makes me sad, and feel for you and your daughter. There is definitely something wrong. I can understand because last year I got my exam results back and they werent as good as I thought. What year is she? Is it her last year at school? If not, tell her that it doesn't matter what grades she got. She still has another year (or few years) left of school to do good. And tell her it doesn't matter to you what results she gets because you love her anyway and you know she's capable of whatever she wants to be. Don't let her stay in bed and get weak. First be loving a really good about it, but then begin to become a forceful like telling her you're worried and she can't stay in bed and do this. It's obviously affecting you, tell her that. Don't put pressure on her though, that could make it worse. Also, put yourself in her shoes. If you felt that way whats one thing you would really want? And maybe talk to her and see if there's something more to it, something she's not telling you.
  Im so sorry, I really wish I could help more. I hope I was helpful :)